If you are in a relationship that is having problems, you may be feeling a little mixed up. Are you feeling like things have grown stale between you and your partner? Do you feel like you are faking it sometimes, and just pretending that you want to be with them? Do you ever think maybe you should leave, but you’re too unsure of what you would do then? These are all signs that your relationship is not going as well as it should be, and these kinds of thoughts can cause even greater damage if not faced and dealt with.

If you are hiding your real thoughts and feelings about your relationship from your partner, this can lead to guilt and resentment. Where there was once so much love and openness between you, there might now be more doubt and confusion. And if you do want to save your relationship and stay together, it’s going to take some work and honesty.

It will be important to start by taking a good long look at how your relationship has progressed, and understanding what you most want, and don’t want, in it. What you want may include things like romance, excitement, and intimacy, and can also be things like intellectual or spiritual compatibility. The things you don’t want in your relationship could be things like infidelity, abuse (physical or mental), or being taken for granted.

Once you have identified your real needs and wants, go through this list and try to determine whether or not these can be met in this relationship, and with this partner. Also, do you think your partner is willing to work on the relationship with you? If both of you are willing and able to commit to each other and to change for the better, chances are excellent that your relationship can be saved, and will be stronger for going through this process.

If things are very bad between you, you might need to take a break from each other in order to clear your head. Taking some time apart can allow each of you to really think about where you are going in your relationship, without the stress of being together constantly. Once you reunite you will probably both have clearer heads and better understanding of the situation.

As long as you and your partner both agree that you want to make things work, then they can. Just be sure that you communicate clearly and honestly, without hiding things from each other. Just because a relationship has had problems certainly doesn’t mean that you will break up for good. If you are able to do what’s necessary to work out your differences, you will be able to move forward in harmony, and will have a much stronger and more loving life together in the times to come.

I wish you all the best, ’til next time.

Beth

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If your girlfriend wants to end your relationship, but you would like to stay together, read on! Often, just a few helpful tips can allow you to patch things up and stay on the right track. If you are like a lot of men, simply paying closer attention to what she needs from you will help get you there.

First you need to understand where things went wrong. Once you know this, you can start to make plans for how you can get back on the right track and save your relationship.

If your girlfriend has spoken to about ending your relationship (or if she has already broken up with you), did she tell you her reasons? It all depends on the person involved. Some girls will let you know exactly why they are calling things off, and others won’t give you much of a hint. But if you don’t already know, there’s no harm in asking. If she is willing to give you a better explanation, you will be one step ahead, and will help you understand what might need to change.

However, if you are not able to get her to tell you what was wrong, here are a few possibilities that you can think about:

1. It isn’t uncommon for a woman to feel that her boyfriend isn’t paying enough attention to her. Think about how you have been behaving recently. Are you really giving her all the attention she deserves? It’s an important part of every good relationship, even those that have been going on for a long time. Everybody needs to have the person they love pay attention to them, and this is something that is easy enough to correct!

2. Have you given your girlfriend the emotional and intellectual support she needs? Women often need more of this than men do, so keep it in mind. Acknowledge her ideas, her hopes and fears, and be sure that she knows you respect her views and opinions. Never belittle her or make her feel that you think you are smarter or better than her. It also doesn’t hurt to give her a meaningful gift from time to time. This shows her that you recognize and care about the person she is, and that you still have romantic feelings for her.

3. You should know this already, but don’t sleep with other women. Even if there has already been some infidelity in your relationship (from either of you), this is not the time. If you are serious about saving your relationship, stay away from other girls. If you really need to “play the field”, that’s fine, but in this case you should not be trying to get your girlfriend back, should you?

4. If you are in fact still living together, start making more of an effort to clean up after yourself and do your part of the chores around the house. Almost any woman will appreciate that, and it can really help to ease some of the resentment she may be feeling, especially if you haven’t been doing your share of the housework up to now. This shows her that you care about her romantically and as a partner, not a housekeeper!

These are all things that are pretty simple to do, but you will generally find them very effective. If you succeed in showing your girlfriend that you are a very caring and responsible man who respects and loves her, you may just find her back in your arms before long. If there is real love between you, then there is always a good chance!

It’s always good to have an overall strategy in place when you are working on a reconciliation with your girlfriend. A great one can be found in T.W. Jackson’s book “The Magic of Making Up”. Why not check it out today and learn more about how to get back with an ex?

wishing you the best of luck,

Beth

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If your boyfriend has recently ended your relationship, you may be wondering what is the right way to get him back. Remember – just because he has broken up with you, that doesn’t have to mean that you will never be together again. Especially not if there is real love between you. Yes, you can get your ex boyfriend back, but first you need to take a step back and determine whether you really stand a chance. Here are some ways to tell.

Before you can get your ex boyfriend back, you need to make him see that you are still very important to him. You already know that you want to be with him, so your job now is to make him feel the same way about you.

Start by acting like a good friend to your ex. Let him know that you care about him, his feelings and interests, and that you can enjoy just being around him. Keep things light and positive. Absolutely no dramas or scenes of heartbreak or emotions. Real friends don’t do that! Just enjoy his presence, laugh at his jokes and make a few of your own. Show him that you still care about him, but that you are fine being on your own now. Good friendships make both parties feel good. They are positive and healthy. If you are able to create a good friendship with your ex that is enjoyable to both of you, then there is a good chance that reconciliation can happen in time.

Something else to think about when you want to get back with an ex boyfriend is that good communication is very important. Always be friendly and pleasant with him, but never let yourself look needy. Be available to him as a friend, but don’t let on to him how much you want him back. Return his calls, but it doesn’t need to be right away. Play a little hard to get, while still maintaining your friendly attitude. See if this doesn’t start to get his attention!

It will be very critical to maintain the appearance that you are doing great, with or without him. Whatever you do, don’t allow yourself to look desperate. He should see that you are able to move on to a new relationship, while still remaining friends with him. Always look your best, and it’s OK, even advisable, to date other guys casually. This will show him that you are desirable to others, and may remind him of why he was attracted to you in the beginning of your relationship. You’ll be able to tell if he is noticing your appearance, and that’s another good sign!

So yes, it is definitely possible to get back with an ex boyfriend. Just stay positive and start slowly so that you can keep your emotions steady throughout.

Keep Smiling!

Beth

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If you have dumped, chances are you are feeling very hurt and confused right now. You may be asking yourself why your love broke up with you, and what you might be able to do to get your relationship back together. Here are some tips that can help.

1. First ask yourself, do you REALLY want to get back together? Sometimes a relationship can go on and on just out of habit. It may be that your partner was truly doing the right thing by breaking things off. Be sure that you want to get back together because you really love him or her, and not because you just don’t want to be alone. In order to get your relationship back on track, you need to be sure that it is what you want.

2. Once you are sure in your own mind about how you feel, you will need to find out how your ex really feels about you. Just because someone broke up with you, it doesn’t mean that they do not love you, or that they would not get back with you. They may have been feeling a little uncertain, confused, or even overwhelmed by their emotions. If you find out that your ex does still care for you, then you probably have a very good chance of getting back together.

3. Now it’s time to back off a little and act as if you are moving on. If it looks as if you have accepted the breakup, your ex will not feel uncomfortable about approaching you in his or her own time. By standing back and letting your ex come to you, you are giving her the opportunity to come to you and make the first move toward getting back together.

4. For now, limit your contact with your ex to just very occasionally. You need to give him or her the chance to miss you, and to wonder what you are doing and whether you are still interested in the relationship. If you are always around, your ex may feel uncomfortable and under pressure, which would probably not give you the results you are seeking. It’s critical right now to give your ex space and let them initiate the reconciliation. This may be hard to do, but in the end it will be more than worth it.

These tips are easy and simple, but, they can work wonders when it comes to getting your ex back. If you truly desire to get back with your ex significant other, then you really need to follow the information in these tips, because they will move you towards that end. Most relationships can be saved both partners are willing to go to do what it takes to make it happen, so don’t give up – understanding what to do is half the battle!

It’s always good to have an overall strategy in place when you are working on a reconciliation with your girlfriend. A great one can be found in T.W. Jackson’s book “The Magic of Making Up”. Why not check it out today and learn more about how to get back with an ex?

wishing you the best of luck,

Beth

Being involved in a successful relationship can boost our self-esteem and make us feel good about ourselves. But if you are involved in a relationship that is having problems, you may find it having the opposite effect.

The fact is, most issues of self-esteem, whether positive or negative, stem directly from the relationships that you are involved in. Whether you are married, single, or in love, your relationships are often what cause you to feel better or worse about yourself, depending on how the relationship is going. We often expect the person who will loves us to make us feel like we are wonderful in every way. Unfortunately, that doesn’t always happen the way we would like.

If you are experiencing problems in your relationship, and especially if your self-esteem is suffering, a good way to start is to work with your partner to fix the problems between you, so that you can then move on to working on your own issues. One thing you can do is to read some good self help books and use some of the techniques suggested there. But if you have been able to heal your relationship first, then your partner will be a great source of support. If you need help healing your relationship, a good relationship counselor can be very beneficial.

As you are working through the problems in your relationship, be sure to keep a few important things in mind. First, never allow yourself to be criticized, and never criticize your partner. All this will accomplish is to make one of you feel more important and powerful than the other. A loving relationship should never be used as a battleground. You don’t need to “win” in order to feel good about yourself or each other.

Think about the things that might be causing the rift between you. If you have very different points of view on things that are important to you, for instance, try having a meaningful discussion about it rather than pointing fingers or trying to say who is right or wrong. Understand each other’s points of view, and let your partner know what your needs are, as you also gain an understanding of theirs.

Once you and your partner are able to work together toward healing your relationship, you will be able to help each other heal personally as well. No more talk about breaking up or divorce. You can work on becoming better people, with a good relationship, and your self-esteem will also improve as a result.

It’s always good to have an overall strategy in place when you are working on your relationship. A great one can be found in T.W. Jackson’s book “The Magic of Making Up”. Why not check it today and learn more about how to heal?

wishing you the best of luck,

Beth

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It can be difficult enough to get your ex boyfriend back when he was the one who broke things off. But what if you were the one who broke up with him, and now you realize you made a mistake? Worse yet, what if you broke up with your boyfriend for all the wrong reasons? Maybe you wrongly believed that he had cheated on you for instance, or someone told you something about him that wasn’t true? Now, not only is your relationship over, but you also know it was all your own fault. How can you being to approach getting back together with him?

First of all, you know that you owe him an apology. This is very clear, because you were absolutely the one at fault. Do your best to get in touch with him in person. Face to face is best, but even over the phone is OK, as long as you can talk with him directly. Give him your most sincere apology, and be sure that you mean it. You will be able to tell pretty quickly whether he is receptive to this by the way he acts. If you are very lucky, he will be understanding and forgiving right away.

However, this often doesn’t happen. Your breaking up with him for something he didn’t do probably made him feel that you didn’t trust him. Especially if you broke up with him without even discussing the reasons, or if you accused him of something he didn’t do, without letting him defend himself. Trust is one of the most important elements of any good relationship, and when it is destroyed it can take a great deal of effort to rebuild.

If your ex boyfriend is not receptive to your in-person apology, then write him a letter. Explain how you feel, and how sorry you are. Let him know that you jumped to the wrong conclusions because of how much you love him, and because you couldn’t bear to think of him with someone else (or doing whatever it was you thought he had done). Remind him of the wonderful times you had together. Let him know that you take full responsibility for the mistake you made, and that you don’t want to throw away your relationship.

Then, you will need to give him some space. You have done what you can for now, so assume that he has read your letter, and let him have time to think about it. Don’t call or email him for now, and try to relax knowing that you have done the best you can. If you do run into him, just be very friendly and positive. Don’t apologize any more though. You have already done that, so let it go. It’s time to put the hurt behind you.

After some time has passed, invite your ex boyfriend to get together just as friends. You might try getting tickets for a concert or event that you know he would enjoy. That way, you can just have a nice time together. This will help pave the way for reconciliation without pressuring him. Let him be the one to initiate taking things any further.

It’s a tricky situation to get back with an ex boyfriend when you were the one who treated him badly. In some ways you will need to start your relationship all over again. Rebuilding the trust that was lost will be critical, but with time it can happen. If there is real love between the two of you, you can get through this. Realize that in the long run, overcoming difficult times together will make your relationship even stronger.

It’s always good to have an overall strategy in place when you are working on a reconciliation with your ex. A great one can be found in T.W. Jackson’s book “The Magic of Making Up”. Why not check it today and learn more about how to get back with an ex?

wishing you the best of luck,

Beth

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Your lover has called it off, but you know in your heart that they are the one for you. So how can you save your relationship? When you think about it, the better you understand the reason why they broke things off, the better chance you will have to get back together and have them fall in love with you again. So first, give yourself and your relationship a good, long, hard, honest look.

It may be that you had an affair with someone else, and your ex no longer feels that they can trust you. If this is the case, then you will need to work hard to prove yourself to your ex. He or she must begin to believe that you can and will be true.

Now, be very sure that you do indeed want your ex back, and that you really can keep yourself from being unfaithful again. If you do not believe this in your own heart, how could you expect your ex to? And why would you even want the relationship back?

If you are sure, then the first step you take must be a sincere apology. This isn’t going to fix things on it’s own, but it is a very critical step to take toward restoring trust.

Secondly, give your ex time to heal. Don’t try to rush things, and don’t play any games. Also, don’t date other people right now. Be sincere, and give them the space they need to work things out in their own mind. Being cheated on really hurts, and it takes some time to get past it.

On the other hand, do be available to your ex. Be a good friend. See if your ex is willing to join you in some fun, lighthearted activities. Do some of the things you did when you were first dating, that made you fall in love the first time around. If your ex still cares about you (which is likely), rebuilding trust and having fun together are great ways to get past the affair and work toward falling in love again.

Or did your lover break up with you because they were getting bored with the relationship? Were you in a rut, doing the same routine things all the time? If this was the reason, then you need to put a little excitement back into your life.

Think back to when you were first dating your ex. Didn’t you always strive to look your best? You probably chose outfits for every date very carefully, and did little things to surprise and delight your lover. You probably spent plenty of time thinking up fun things to do, and interesting topics of conversation. And did you let all that slide once your relationship was more established? It happens.

Try showing your ex that you are still a fun and exciting person to be with, the person they fell in love with once. Get them to meet you, just as friends, and go somewhere you didn’t normally go when you were together. Try a new kind of food for instance, or go see a jazz concert instead of rock. Maybe there was something you always thought about doing when you were together, but just never did because of the rut you found yourselves in.

At the same time, make yourself an even more interesting person, to show your ex that you are still changing and growing. Take up scuba diving or rock climbing maybe. Take a course in something you’ve always wanted to learn about. Make it fun and interesting. This will also give you an air of excitement and enthusiasm, which will certainly shine through in any conversations with your ex. Your ex will remember what made them fall in love with you before, and may very likely fall in love again, with the person you still are!

Finally, maybe the reason your ex broke it off was because they were feeling too closed in, and that they needed more time and space for themselves. Maybe your ex really loved you, but you were together so much of the time that they had no room for themselves.

If this is what happened, then first and foremost you need to take a step back. Don’t call your ex frequently, or send them texts or emails all the time. Don’t be too present in their life. Maybe not at all for a while.

You don’t need to break off contact completely, just keep it minimal and casual. After all, how can your ex come to miss you and want you back, much less fall in love with you all over again, if they are feeling crowded. Be pleasant, and a little detached. Never cling or appear to be desperate. If there is still love between you, this approach will give your ex the space that he or she needs in order to remember how great you are, and to start falling in love with you again.

There are many other possible causes for your breakup besides what we have discussed here, but whatever the reason was, try to understand it. The better you do, the easier it will be for you to fix what went wrong, and the better chance you’ll have to get your ex to fall in love with you again.

It’s always good to have an overall strategy in place when you are working on a reconciliation with your ex. A great one can be found in T.W. Jackson’s book “The Magic of Making Up”. Why not check it today and learn more about how to get back with an ex?

wishing you the best of luck,

Beth

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If your loved one has dumped you, chances are you are looking at all kinds of different ideas about how to get your ex back. Many of these involve playing some kind of games in order to make them jealous, or trick them into seeing you. But remember, if you do succeed in getting back together with your ex, you may need to answer for playing these games. Do you really want to restart your relationship with these kinds of tricks hanging over your head? Let’s talk about a more mature and reasonable approach.

It may be that when you were together as a couple, you were constantly in touch with each other by phone or text. Now that your ex has broken things off, you might not be hearing from them at all. And while you definitely don’t want to make a pest of yourself or appear to be a stalker, there is nothing wrong with calling your ex once in a while, just to stay in touch and keep the lines of communication open. The best times to call would be on special days for your ex, like a birthday, graduation, or when they achieve something that is meaningful to them. Even a thoughtful gift would be OK at such a time, but keep it very small and not too personal.

Think about emailing your ex now and then as well. If you happen to have a mailing list of friends, add your ex to it. If you don’t have one, consider starting one. You can send out items of mutual interest, personal updates and the like. This is another good way of keeping in touch with your ex without appearing to be pursuing them too much.

Are you thinking about dating other people to make your ex jealous? Some people recommend this, but if you are really serious about getting back together with your ex, why do you want to bother with someone else? It could only get messy for everyone if you do end up reconciling. The fact that you were involved with someone else during this time could come back to haunt you, especially if you were sleeping with them. This would be a very risky game to play.

However, if your ex is dating you will have to deal with it. After all, they did end your relationship and they are not “cheating” on you by dating other people now. However, it is very likely that this is a “rebound” relationship, and it probably won’t last long. Rebounds rarely do. In this case, take a look at the person your ex is seeing and see if you think their choice represents what might have been missing in the relationship with you. For example, if you are a serious athlete and your ex is dating an artist or musician, you might think about how to show off your own creative side!

Because you are apart from your ex now, it might be easier to look at them objectively. Think about the things your ex does and says, and what it says about the kind of person they are. Does it tell you anything about what need from a romantic relationship? Keep these thoughts in mind!

Realize that because your ex broke up with you, he or she currently has most of the power in your relationship. Don’t give away even more of your power by telling your ex too much. If you make big declarations of undying love or let them know how much you need them in your life, you will have very little say in how things unfold going forward. You need to keep your own power in order to maintain a healthy dynamic between you, especially as you begin to approach reconciliation.

One very important thing to do while you are apart from your loved one is to continue working on yourself. Keep up your physical appearance, and don’t let yourself get sloppy. Consider a new outfit or hairstyle if it makes you feel good about yourself. Take up a new hobby or expand upon an existing one. Take some courses in things that interest you and might broaden your horizons a bit. Nothing is more attractive to a potential partner, even your ex, than someone who is obviously happy, healthy, and doing well, physically and mentally.

If it is meant to be, reconciliation with your ex will happen in time. Let it happen naturally, with love and common sense. That’s a much better foundation for the future than head games could ever be.

A great source of tips for how to save a relationship can be found in T.W. Jackson’s book “The Magic Of Making Up”. Take a look now and start to get back with your ex today!

wishing you the best of luck,

Beth
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If your boyfriend has broken up with you, especially if you love him very deeply, I’m sure you want to do everything you can think of to try to get him back. But before you do anything, try to stop for a moment, take a deep breath, and put a good solid plan together. It will help keep you from making potentially disastrous mistakes. Here are some tips that will help.

No matter what, do not pursue him! If you have been phoning, emailing, and texting him, stop right now! Do not “just happen” to be where you know he hangs out, and do not “just happen” to be in his neighborhood. This kind of behavior will only make him want to run away even more. To get your boyfriend back, you need to make him want to come to you.

Use the time right now instead, to work on yourself. Do whatever it takes to maintain a positive attitude and to keep yourself looking good. If you have a lot of hurt, angry, and negative feelings toward your boyfriend, work on getting them out of your system.

One really good way to rid yourself of negative feelings is to write about them. You can write a letter to your boyfriend, telling him everything that is on your mind. Talk about the great times you had together, and the love you shared. Tell him how hurt and angry you feel about the breakup. Write down everything you are feeling and thinking, all the things you wish you had said to him in person but never did.

Then, destroy the letter. I mean it, this was meant for your eyes only. Burn it, shred it, but whatever you do, be sure that the letter is absolutely destroyed and that no one else will ever read it. For me, this is the most effective way to rid myself of bad feelings. I like burning best. There is something about seeing the paper turn into ashes and go up in smoke that seems to free those feelings into the atmosphere and allow you to just get on with your life.

Then, just let it go. Don’t talk badly about your boyfriend, and don’t allow your family or friends to either. Remember that this is someone you love and that you hope to get back into your life. Stay positive about him and about your relationship. If you do happen to talk to your ex, keep that positive as well. Don’t argue with him, but it’s fine to reminisce about the good times. That will also remind him of why he was with you to begin with.

Relax now, and continue doing the things you enjoy, especially the things that your boyfriend appreciated most about you. If the two of really enjoyed dancing for instance, go out dancing with your friends and have a great time. Don’t be afraid to be seen out and about, it will show the world (and your ex) that you are doing well. It will make you look more attractive to him as well.

Do make yourself available to your ex and to others. There’s nothing wrong with a casual date during this time – if someone asks you out, go ahead! One of the best ways to get your boyfriend back is for him to see you enjoying yourself with someone else. He will see you as the desirable person you are, and he is likely to start finding reasons to get back in touch with you.

Most of all stay positive and strong. You’ll see it work wonders!

T.W. Jackson offers a very useful and comprehensive system called “The Magic of Making Up”, which includes a step by step plan for how to save a relationship. This is very near and dear to my heart, since I used many of his techniques to help get back with my boyfriend. They do really work! Why not read this today for a better chance to get your boyfriend back!

wishing you the very best of luck,

Beth

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Often when a breakup occurs, you can find yourself feeling hopelessly that your ex’s love for you is all in the past. While that could be true, there is also a very strong possibility that your ex does still love you very much. Often when a breakup occurs, there is still love between the partners, and the breakup happened for other reasons. Let’s take a look at how we can address this situation.

If you really do still love your ex, you can have some hope that they still love you as well. However, your ex broke up with you for some reason, and you may have to take a hard look at yourself and at your relationship to understand what that reason was. Breaking up may have seemed like the only solution your ex could think of. But once you can see clearly, and understand the problems that led your ex to break things off, you may very well have taken your first step toward saving your relationship.

If the two you agreed together to break up, but now you feel that it was a mistake, then you both need to sit down together and talk about why you broke up in the first place. What were the problems in your relationship that made you think you needed to separate? If you are both very honest with yourselves, you may even realize that breaking up was actually for the best after all! You can then begin to put some closure on the relationship, and work though the pain that the breakup has caused.

However, it is just as likely that you and your ex may agree to give it another chance. This is wonderful, and I’m sure it would make you feel very happy and positive and hopeful that your relationship will be saved. A word of caution is needed here though. If you do not understand and agree to work together on the issues, then you will find yourself right back where you were when you broke up. That probably won’t happen right away, because both of you will be so happy to be back together, that you will be tempted to ignore any problems between you. In time though, the elation of getting back together will wear off. What happens then will depend on how well you understand what went wrong before.

How are you going to keep this from happening? Counseling is one good idea. If you can find someone who can listen objectively to both of you, without taking sides, that will be very helpful. It’s also a good idea to have a system in place, that can advise you of the steps to take while getting back together and working to save your relationship. A great one can be found in T.W. Jackson’s book “The Magic of Making Up”. It has helped many couples, including my boyfriend and me, repair the problems and save their relationship.

If you’d like to learn more about T.W. Jackson’s system for how to save a relationship, visit his official website now, and get started on the road to reconciliation!

wishing you the best of luck,

Beth

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